Small and big within us. Fear of the future, nostalgia of the past and attempts to live in the moment. Spontaneous and planning ahead. Passionate and stable, reliable. How to make peace with all those things within us? They are all there, denied or brought to the surface as our subconscious leads our lives, while we strive to become free. Just starting to realize how high the burden of being free is.
I talked to my teacher recently, and attempted to have our usual "deep" conversation, just to find out the teacher is not willing to do it anymore, as it is too devastating and antidepressants are needed then. The teacher chose anesthetized acceptable existence, not daring to call it living (I asked).
I have a gravely difficult time with my own increasing inner freedom, and would stop searching, if I could. I would stop creating, if I could.
baisu, kai tos ramybes lauki, dairais, ir vis galvoji - praeis dar kiek laiko, padarysiu dar kelis dalykus, ir ji bus cia.
ReplyDeleteo is tiesu, ne velnio. ypac, kaip pamastau, kuriantiems zmonems. jie tartum patys iesko chaoso, kad galetu pasikankinti jame